when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
