Sry I called you an 8
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
