sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
