Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
