my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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