i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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