this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
