I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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