Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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