careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
