is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You are the jesus of drinking
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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