so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
