the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
