My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
she smelled like a LAN party
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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