After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
