mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
