the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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