At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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