You smell like a Billy Joel song
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
