Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
