just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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