okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
