Your mouth is God's brothel.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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