is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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