Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
