Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
