I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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