giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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