We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
