I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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