THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize