My brain says no but my pants say off.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
