I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
