just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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