I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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