; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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