toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
