drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
