don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
