Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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