i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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