i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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