haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
