no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
