worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
