So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
