I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
