I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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