every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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