just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
How naked do you want me to be?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
