There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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