dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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