I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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