I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
