I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
