Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Randomize
