Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
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